It’s been a while since we’ve posted something on here, but Jessica is sick a lot these days (which is to be expected with pregnancy) so I end up spending my spare time with America or working on a sub-contracting job I’m doing right now. However, America is spending the night with her Nini tonight, and Jessica just went to bed, so I want to take the time to write about the awesome Christmas gift America gave to me this year (a little early).
On Wednesday of this week, I went Christmas shopping after work. This really threw my whole day off because I’m so used to my daily routine of leaving the office and rushing home to pick up America at the babysitter’s house. Picking her up after work is the highlight of my day. I sit around thinking about her all day and I can hardly wait to get back to see her. I think I’m as spoiled to her as she is to me. She’s definitely a Daddy’s Girl. She cries for me a lot, and she’s even hurt Jessica’s feelings a couple of times by reaching and crying for me when Jessica is holding her. Anyway, I spent several hours in Lexington, shopping at the Fayette Mall. I went to a couple of other places and then headed home around 7PM.
As I was going home, Jessica called to tell me that she’d be at her granny’s apartment and for me to meet her there. I asked her how America was doing and Jessica said “She’s being really good. She’s been laughing and playing in the floor here at Granny’s, and pretty much entertaining herself.” I could hear her in the background just as happy as she could be. Jessica put the telephone down to America’s ear and had me talk to her through the phone and Jessica said she smiled, but that’s about it.
When I arrived at Jessica’s granny’s apartment, I barely knocked on the door and then just walked on in. As I came in the door, America looked up at me and immediately started crying. She held her arms out and started moving her hands around in circles, but she kept looking at me and crying. I was afraid I had scared her, so I looked at Jessica and said “I don’t think she recognizes me.” Jessica replied with, “No, she recognizes you, she just wants you to pick her up.” As I stood there wondering why she was crying, America pretty much confirmed what Jessica had said by holding her arms up to me for me to pick her up. I picked her up and she stopped crying and started smiling and laughing and she even put her head on my chest as if she was hugging me.
When I saw how excited America was to see me, I couldn’t help but think “Wow, somebody is actually overjoyed to see me!” The last time I could remember anybody being that excited to see me was when Jessica and I would go over to my mother’s house to visit and my mom would see me coming in the door and she’d say “Kev! My Kev is here!” and I’d lean down and hug her as she sat in her recliner. I always thought my mom was just being silly when she acted like that when I came in the door, but now I’ve seen my own daughter do practically the same thing and I don’t find it so silly anymore. America just brought back some memories for me that I’ve somehow kept hidden away in the back of my mind.
Ever since my mom died, it seems like I’ve become an accessory to the lives of others and that my own life really doesn’t have much meaning beyond what I can do for other people. I’m not saying this as self-pity, but it’s something I’ve realized lately and I’ve planned on fixing, especially after what happened on Wednesday. So, my little eight-month-old daughter gave a unique gift to me that she can’t even comprehend at this point in her life: she gave me the sense of feeling like I mean more to her than anything else in the world; a feeling that I haven’t felt since my mother died.
This is not to say that I’m taking Jessica for granted because I know I mean a lot to her, but there’s nothing quite like walking in a door and being greeted by a little girl who is so happy to see you that she starts crying immediately after she see’s you even though she was as happy as she could be just a few minutes before.
So that’s my best Christmas present this year, and it’s not even Christmas, yet. I know I’ll probably get a lot of great gifts this year, but nothing will top what America gave to me on the evening of December 19, 2007.
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