the adams' blog

I just wanted to share some photos of America that were taken during the last week. A few of these were taken when America was heading to the Country Fair in Lexington. Jessica took some of these while America was sitting up on the couch right before we left. The fourth picture is a picture of America ’swimming’ with her three friends. Just so you know which ones are which they are (from left to right) Presleigh, Paige, Preston, and America. None of them liked the swimming much, as you can see.

The other thing I want to talk about is somewhat touchy to talk about, but I feel like it needs to be said…

Jessica’s family has shown a great interest in America, and they’ve been out to our house many, many times to see her. Jessica’s friends have shown a lot of interest in America, as well. We get visits and telephone calls from them all the time.
However, I’ve been somewhat embarrassed by my own family’s lack of interest. I have two older brothers and a younger sister. My mom passed away in February 2006, but my dad is still around in a limited capacity. My two brothers have shown no interest in my child at all. Neither of them have seen her in person, or in pictures (that I know of). Neither of them have even called me to congratulate me. One brother has called me a couple of times for other things, but has never mentioned anything to me in any way about my little girl.

My dad has seen America, and he asks about her all the time, but I honestly feel like he only does it because he feels obligated to do so. He’s more interested in other things that he wants to talk about (life has always been all about him). My sister has been extremely supportive and shows great interest and love for America. She’s been out to our house several times and I’m thankful for her loyalty and love for my daughter.

I don’t want this to sound like I’m whining, because I’m not. It’s more like I’m stunned and I can’t get over it. I knew life would turn out to be like this after my mother died. Mother once told me in the weeks before she left us that she wanted our family to continue on and for us to stay close. I told her that I’ve always felt like an outcast with my siblings and that I didn’t believe any of them loved me. She chastised me and told me I was wrong. I didn’t want to argue with her, so I just let the subject drop.
I begged God not to take my mother from me when He did, not only because I loved her so much, but also because I knew the day would come when I would have a child and I wanted my mom to be a big part of his/her life. When Jessica became pregnant in the fall of 2005 (she would later miscarry) my mom was in the hospital and she told every doctor and nurse that came into her room that she was going to be a granny again. I couldn’t believe her excitement! However, my dream of her being a part of my child’s life died in February 2006. Now all I can do is look at a picture of her in America’s room and think about how Mother would have been so crazy about my little girl.

Mother is gone and here I am left with the remnants of what used to be a big, close, loving family. Two brothers who haven’t even bothered to call me and congratulate me, a Dad that asks about America out of obligation. I also have cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. that haven’t even bothered to visit us or call us. I do have a niece who has been around America since the day she was born, and I’m grateful for that, Kayla!

Every day I feel myself slipping back to being the old me. The me that’s vindictive and doesn’t care about those who don’t care about him. The me that believes “I don’t need anybody”… Is this the Christian way to be? Definitely not. But some things are difficult to handle and this is definitely one of those things. Jessica and I have tried for 8 years to have a child, with several miscarriages along the way, so this is a big event for me.

So I want to go on record to say that I won’t forget the way America’s birth was ignored by a lot of my family members. There will come a time (without a doubt) when I’ll be asked for a favor by them and I’ll be sure to return the sentiment of how much they mean to me in the same way they’ve proven how much I mean to them.